Fragile bonds
by deletors
Summary: Kai has been confronting Ibuki once every week, demanding answers for why he wishes to destroy Vanguard. But this week, he asks for something different. Set in Neon messiah. No pairing. Note: this story may not be completely accurate to canon, so just bear with me please.


"Ibuki!"

Kai stared in desperation as the still shape in the darkness in front of him stirred, turning around to reveal cold ruby eyes that belonged to no other than Ibuki, the tall stoic faced man shifting to face him, a white raven perched on his shoulder. Kai grit his teeth, a painful memory awakening as he stared into the hollow red eyes that were once filled with happiness and life.

"Why have you come to see me? _Again?" _Ibuki spat, obviously annoyed. Kai had come once a week every week to see his former friend, and each time always asked him the same question.

"You know. The usual." Kai replied cooly. "Why do you want to destroy vanguard?"

Ibuki's face scrunched up into a scowl. "Why do you always-"

"Question you?" Kai finished his sentence, though unintentionally. It seemed that finishing Ibuki's sentences was a habit now. "Because I never understand."

The gray haired man bared his teeth, annoyed at how he had to repeat himself _every. fucking. week._

"Vanguard is a cursed game." He began again. "It is the one game that has brought despair to the world and should be annihilated immediately."

As Kai listened, he couldn't help but notice that despite Ibuki seeming so angry with having to deal with Kai every week he would always say the same thing again. Was it the hopes of him finally being satisfied and leaving? No, Ibuki knew better than that, from the angry glitter in his eyes, it was easy to see he would rather do something else than put up with repeating himself every week, and Ibuki definitely would not let Kai overthrow his balance of feelings.

"Are you satisfied?" Ibuki snarled, turning away. Kai pursed his lips. When Ibuki had finished explaining, he would have yelled at how he would never forgive the gray haired man, or how he would be making a mistake, and Ibuki would always give him a seething glare and say:

_"I don't care for any of you. If this is what I wish, that is final. No one will change my mind, even if they have stayed with me for centuries."_

Kai grunted. He didn't want to repeat that cycle again, at least not now that he had something he wanted to confront the gloomy man about.  
>He opened his mouth to speak.<p>

"If you deleted Vanguard, you will never feel happiness again." Ibuki flinched, and opened his own mouth to speak, but Kai swiftly finished his sentence before he could say anything. "Don't deny it, Ibuki. I can feel how hollow your heart must feel."

Ibuki was stunned, and stared at the brunet. Kai gave him a level gaze, and Ibuki sighed and muttered something under his breath before turning to speak to Kai again.

"You understand that feeling as well, I presume?"

Kai nodded, and Ibuki closed his eyes. Despite the rivalry the two felt between them, they could understand what the other felt and read each other's minds like open books.

Ibuki lifted a palm to his heart, the sudden movement on his shoulder startling the raven that perched it. "Then you know how painful it is, to walk on a path alone with no one to give you a sense of life, a sense of hope." He clenched his hand, the fabric being pulled in as his fist tightened. "But-"

"Then why?! Why don't you just go start a normal life, and be able to feel happiness again?!" Kai interrupted. Ibuki stared at him, unfazed by the sudden outburst.

"Allow me to finish." He shot back cooly, and Kai felt the tugging urge to retaliate, but this time he kept silent as Ibuki continued "But I can bear it, though, to be honest, barely. I have barely been able to keep my mental health up, until now... Now that I understand..." He trailed off, and his lips curled into a snarl.

"Now I understand that happiness cannot be retained forever."

Kai flinched as Ibuki paused to give him a glare, a gaze that challenged him to retort. He knew how ridiculous Ibuki's claim was, but instead of retorting, he met Ibuki's gaze, silently waiting for him to continue.

"Happiness is both a gift and a curse. It has the power to change feelings, and change your aspects on life entirely." He continued. "I realized that the one thing I have been chasing for was not worth it, but yet, knowing that, it depressed me."

He lifted up his gaze, causing Kai to flinch.

"Then the deletors came."

Ibuki lifted his deck out of his pocket, the glittering front card revealing that it was Daunting Deletor, Woksis. "They gave me a purpose to live, even though it wasn't really a good one. They changed my aspects on Vanguard entirely. I was from there determined to wipe it out and began to do so, deleting units."

Kai couldn't help but frown. Ibuki was leaving out something. He waited for him to continue, but Ibuki just sighed, putting his deck in his pocket. "Do you understand now?"

"That's a stupid reason for wanting to delete Vanguard." Kai replied, though there was no power in his voice. He was shaken by Ibuki's explaination.

The gray haired link joker wielder narrowed his eyes sorrowfully. "I know. But it's all I have..."

"You're not fully sure what to do anymore." Kai mumbled. "You don't know if what you are doing is wrong or right."

Ibuki nodded. "That's right. Even though some things may seem right, there are choices that must defy common sense. Nobody knows what will happen once you make a choice, especially a big one. All you can do is hope it was the correct choice."

"But you have no hope." Kai finished in a monotone voice.

Ibuki nodded. "Exactly."

Seeing that the brunet's curiousity was finally satisfied, and turned to walk away, but stopped in his tracks as Kai mumbled

"You want to stay with that former life you once had with me."

Kai looked up, a gleam of hollow understanding in his emerald eyes. "You were happy with me and Miwa, but you thought that wasn't true happiness. You wished for the world to be truly happy, to be at peace. That's what you left out."

Ibuki flinched, surprised. But he slumped, a sorrowful frown on his face. "Yes..."

"Then come back." Kai murmured, but there was no charisma in his voice.

And though Kai knew what Ibuki would say, and Ibuki was aware of this, he brushed past Kai and whispered in his ear,

"I can't. No one will forgive me. That is the brutal reality of the world, Kai."

And he slipped away, the flutter of feathers following him into the darkness as Ibuki disappeared, without a trace.


End file.
